ZippyLand

Creatures

There have been an abundance of animals trotting nearby in the last week - today's highlight being two muskrats (I know, a swimming rat! Great!) but somehow watching them determinedly paddling through the water makes them cute.

Rabbits, a fox, numerous dolphins, a dozen deer, pelicans, & jumping fish. No turtles or alligators, sadly enough. But plenty of pelts, at the Gun Factory, in the town that time forgot. And even a covered bridge.

Free at first

I realized something crazy today. Yes, it was mutually agreed upon and the deed was done, and I am a newly single person - an event that has not occured since i was NINETEEN. A month and a half away from 20 at the time, but hot damn. Boys boys boys boys boys for me.

I feel that great cavern in my chest, that is always felt when something filling up your life is replaced by nothing. I feel grateful that I do not have to fear the even greater void that comes when there is a blistering trail of anger and resentment left in the wake. Instead there is comfort, sadness, and the nervous anticipation of the future. How to save one's pride, to feel desirable again? How to erase the picture already forming, when confronted with HER (whoever she may be), when I must be all smiles and gaiety and joy? How to get to London?

I guess I've been living a fairly single life for a few months now anyway, so I'm not in total shock. The newest, strangest feeling of all (since it's been so long) is the maturity of experience backing me up, like a friend a long time coming.

Observations today

1. Dead cicadas littered on the steps of a monument in Clarendon. I'm going back and forth between the fascinating sound that they make, versus the fact that every time one flies through the air I think it's a giant bee, which makes me want to run away. Anyway, I hadn't decided if I thought they were completely nasty, until I saw a million tiny red ants eating a dead one. Gross.

2. A tar-ridden leather woman, sitting at the coffee shop, with a cigarette burning down to the butt in her fingers. A couple of minutes later, I noticed that she had lost the cigarette, but that her fingers were still curled in the exact position of holding one. And her arm was still up, a few inches from her face. I can only imagine the number of cigarettes it takes for that phenonmenon to occur.

That's all. The end.

Finally, my own Personal Hell builder!!

Brain out

I know I'm a Libra and I'm naturally attracted to them, but there seem to be an insane amount of Geminis out there and it begs the question: who has time to be pregnant and giving birth in May? Now that I am getting old enough to watch patterns in my life, I have decided that my year is divided into: low in January, just hanging out, surviving the cold; an upswing in activity that reaches a complete frenzy in May; then I kick into summer gear with equal amounts of running around and relaxing, with a gradual cooling off period from mid-September to December. With a fair amount of nuttiness during the holidays.

If I had to pick a bug, I'd say there is no better representation for May than cicadas. Hundreds of whirring bugs swirling around above, some people completely losing it and others engrossed by them (David). As always, little Libra me, I'm just in the middle, with all the crazies buzzing and birthing and flurrying around me. Soon, the beach...ahh, so soon.

Reality TV

Well, I finally got an earful tonight on the Iraqi prisoner abuse scandal. Although I consider myself to be someone who generally keeps up with current events, I also manage to avoid lots of the high publicity cases because I personally fail to see the value of rehashing the few facts that the public is usually privy to, with loads of speculation by very opinionated, opposite-minded experts. For example, I pretty much missed all of the details of the O.J. Simpson case, as well as the Laci Peterson double-homicide (well, I guess not ALL the details). I was more conscious of the Enron & Tyco cases, and unfortunately am fairly well-schooled in the Martha Stewart trial. But Jon-Benet? Nope. Come to think of it, I should probably shut up before some state assigns me to incredibly long jury duty.

Back to Abu Ghraib...I had a work crisis and spent a number of hours in my office cave, listening to the nightly programming of WAMU, where every show focused on that very subject, with no new facts to offer and plenty of people yelling about this or defending that. The only actual voice of authority, Sen. John McCain, simply offered that everything must be probed, questioned and looked into. Kind've sad after he was introduced as someone who never backed down from voicing his strongly-held convictions.

I think there are plenty of issues that need to be broken down and dealt with in as straightforward a manner as possible - but instead there are layers and layers of media to pick through to even decipher what has actually occurred. No wonder people zone out - just to keep from going crazy. Back to news on the web for me...

Sniff sniff

Can I just say how much I love cologne? You get a whiff of something familiar on a guy, and you're suddenly transported back in time, to a certain moment, a particular night. Often the memory isn't crystal clear or even slightly clear, but the feeling rushes back and a lovely, secret smile creeps up. All from a passing scent...

And how many new memories can be immortalized from a spring night and a sweet-smelling man?

Yay for May

Everything is beyond waking up and now wildly alive - especially noticeable while at the cabin in the Shenandoah valley this past weekend. Every inch seemed to be covered in chartreuse, more so after the hours and hours of rain.

I am still dreaming of sitting in the rocking chair w/ my good book & a bottle of beer.