ZippyLand

Winter Ocean

Ok, I promise to stop yammering on about how fantastic it was to go to VA Beach in the winter, but first I had to put it in print. Falling asleep and waking up to the waves, with cool air blowing in and hot air blowing around - it was pure bliss. Sitting in a jacuzzi tub with no noise but the ocean and the gulls, after a night of holiday lights (bubbles!) and King crab and jumbo shrimp...I almost think it would be disappointing in the summer.

We even nerded out and visited Yorktown Battlefield. A mini dream vacation, and so very necessary.

Frigid temps

Without having experienced the cold of winter, one cannot appreciate the warmth of spring.

--Chinese proverb

Lessons in Oxymorons Presents: an enjoyable forward (holiday-themed)

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Blurry Christmas

Here's my ghetto phone pic of the tree and Kundera...the house has become very festive looking. The appeal of decorating and doing Christmasy things is how it breaks one out of the ordinary, in that we spend most days a year doing the same old routine. It keeps us in touch with the traditional order of things, when people ruled their lives by daylight and seasons, and celebrated the transitions from autumn to winter, winter to spring, etc.

With the help of my rock buddies, I've also been breaking back into my former mold of band groupie, seeing four incredible shows (Starflyer 59, MMW, Magnetic Fields, & the Pixies)in one month, after months (years?) of laying low on the indie scene.

**God, Kim Deal is awesome. She was dressed like a soccer mom and rocked out on bass with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and knockin' back beers.**

And to top it all off, the Christmas ham I received at work, already cooked and sliced.

Maybe I'm on the Nice List this year?

Happy St. Nick's!

http://www.umkc.edu/imc/stnick.htm

Quote for the 1st of December

"We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home."

--Edward R. Murrow

It seems especially appropriate after Kelly alerted us to this awful article.

Yes, world, Oscar Wilde is evil, if you didn't know already.