Things George Bush Supporters Believe: A truthful and sarcastic list
(thank you craigslist archives)
1. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is a solid defense policy.
2. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
3. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
4. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s and John Kerry did in the 1970s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
5. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
6. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
7. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.
8. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
9. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
10. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
11. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
12. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
13. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
Why, why, why are humans so slow as to never learn lessons, even having learned them over and over again. I mean, specifically, why am I so slow? Big cup of coffee + nothing else in stomach = twitchy me with a touch of paranoia. Not to the rest of the world, but there's only one body I have to concern myself with. And that's the body that can't handle caffeine unless the beans are Ethiopian or Costa Rican. (Costa Rican?)
Twitch. Twitch. Are they out to get me?? twitch twitch.
(I should note that I'm still drinking it.)
One, the program included in the new lineup of WETA, called Odyssey. The first time I heard it (two weeks ago?) the program was about why people are so interested in murder (Law & Order, CSI, O.J., etc.); the next time, a history of pirates; and today, the ever-shifting meaning of disability. Variety and intelligence, all one could ever hope for.
Two, my new fuzzy Peeps Pen!!! You rock, Mom!
At the Kennedy Center - Monday, March 28, 2005
Kamui
Kamui, a group of professional sword-fighting specialists, most recently choreographed the fight scenes for the movie Kill Bill in which they played the Crazy 88 characters.
Bad bad blogger, yes. I know. The spammer of 37 cialis comments this morning has motivated me to revisit my web abode.
So Shawn & I had a rockin' party on Sat., celebrating his resolve in overhauling his job situation and the partial completion of a two-year project involving the downstairs bathroom, and us, of course! Meatsgiving was full of meat and jello shots and a full-on basement dance party. And no cops were called, excitingly enough! Thank you to our understanding and/or passive-aggressive neighbors.
I love (and I know I'm not alone) the Green Grog. So yummy.
Vegged out yesterday (finally!) and watched two sorta depressing but intriguing movies, from the Croupier director, I'll Sleep When I'm Dead, and from the Strangers With Candy writer, Employee of the Month. I say, rent 'Croupier' if you have not done so.
Now the air is finally in the 50s and perhaps the tide has turned, and I will be able to stop being a recluse.
Happy 10 years, Kundera!
'The dying process begins the minute we are born, but it accelerates during dinner parties.'--Carol Matthau
Ok, someone please explain the lawsuit that led to this warning:
---
CAUTION: Take knife carton out before removing the block from the box.
---
For the record, the box of knives is positioned upright next to the block, and you can actually easily remove the block w/out taking out the knives first. Not that I tried or anything...